Separate Paths

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The school year is drawing to an end and to me this means one thing, I’m going to be a senior. Some people are ecstatic for the approaching end to the four year fiasco that is high school, but honestly I’m dreading it. I’ve spent the last three years making the best friends I’ve ever had, and by this time next year I’ll be preparing myself to say goodbye to them. I understand that this is just a part of life that everyone must go through and I’ll eventually make new friends at college, but right now I just want the friends I have to stay with me.

I’m terrible at making friends, I’m quiet, shy, and altogether antisocial. I didn’t have any really close friends until the ninth grade, and even then I only really had two, and for a while that was all I needed. It wasn’t until this year that I really started to make new friends, and now my small tight-knit group of friends has grown a little bigger, but this was with the help of the friends I already had, without them I’d probably still be a loner that everyone knows as the “quiet guy” and avoid social situations at all costs. I’m still pretty awkward, and I don;t particularly like large social events, but I’m getting better, I’m incredibly comfortable around people I consider to be my friend and I can at least attend big events and enjoy myself just a little, although I still prefer staying at home to attending large parties and school dances.

I worry a lot about whether I’ll be able to make friends when I go away to college (wherever I end up going), and whether I’ll stay in touch with my old friends like we say we will. Everyone also says we’ll stay in touch and remain friends, but I’ve how little power that holds as my brother’s old friends, who have gone away to college while he remained in Dover, hardly ever contact him except on holidays and during school breaks and while he’s found new friends thanks to his job, I think he misses the friends he used to have. We all plan on going to college in many different places, North Carolina, New York, Pennsylvania, and here in Delaware. These locations aren’t exactly far apart, they’re not exactly near each other either. Not to mention there’s other things to take into account, such as our classes and course load, the jobs we’ll all certainly have, and commitments we’ll make with the school programs we plan on joining such as band, jazz, a school paper (that’s me specifically), and so on. There’s always a reason to stay, always a reason to not come home for the weekend, to leave the friends you use to have behind.

I understand that this isn’t exactly an uncommon problem, and it is something that everyone who chooses to attend college must go through, but still, my fears are justified and my hopes are clear, and in the end, our educations and the pursuit of our happiness will ultimately outweigh almost any other option, I just want to keep my friends.

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